For those grieving loss
March 8, 2020; May 19, 2020; July 1, 2020; July 18, 2020; October 11, 2020; October 19, 2020; and most recently July 8, 2021. Those dates may mean nothing to you, but they mean endless confusion, hurt, and grief to their families and friends, including myself. Those dates are a reminder of just a portion of the losses which occurred during the last year within my inner circle. As I browsed various social media I was not and am not the only one who has lost someone or people due to COVID and other heartbreaking circumstances, such as overdoses, poor health, substance use, suicide, and senseless street violence. You see, three of the dates are memories of victims of COVID-19; three are a reminder of how old age, cancer, chronic illness and other health issues contribute to a slow demise; and the last is of a senseless death of an 18-year-old left to die in an ally from a gunshot to the chest in a robbery. But no matter what the circumstance the family members and friends including myself were left angry, confused, hurt, and filled with grief. A life experience that no one enjoys.
Some people who have lost people, can deal with the stresses of grief that comes with loss. For many, the stress during the grieving process is not so easy to handle. There’s anger and confusion about how she or he left this world, and their families. Endless questions begin to roam your mind every second of the day like: Why did she have to go so soon? What will I do now that she is gone? When will this pain leave my heart? Believe me the pain felt from the loss of someone is like no other, it really hurts! It stresses you physically and mentally. Grief can cause your blood pressure to skyrocket! Feelings of tightness in your chest and body numbness is common. You may even cry at the thought of why someone so beautiful, kind, loving, a believer in Christ, young, intelligent, a mother, a father, a son with so many years to live had to be taken away. All those questions and feelings are a normal part of the grieving process. When a person loses someone, there are no limits on how many questions he can have; how much of a feeling he should experience, nor how long it should take to recover from the loss. There is no timeline for grief! There is no timekeeper! Time does not matter! What matters is that you grieve and eventually accept the loss.
While many choose to accept the loss and move on with life quickly; others will talk about their loss for YEARS; and some people will drink themselves into oblivion and or experience depression as a result. The latter part of that statement recalled that loss of a person does not always occur with death. It can occur with persons addicted to substances or experiencing a mental issue, divorce, moving out-of-town, changing schools to name a few. Each time there is a loss of a person, whether it is expected or sudden or mental or physical, can trigger the grieving process. The most important thing to remember is that When People Have Loss People the grieving process has began to take some form and healing can not begin until the person realizes that he or she is grieving, accepts the loss and moves on with life.
My challenge to you is to think of a time when you or a person you know has lost a person. Share your story of what occurred. Describe what the loss was like. Explain how you or the person overcame the loss. For me, writing this blog has helped me to get much closer to accepting the sudden loss of a college roommate, an elementary school friend and my brother-in-law’s nephew. Maybe writing your story will help you too!
An anonymous friend
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